


Forgetting Is Easy

by Ijustneed12percentofamoment



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Agent carter oneshot, Bucky Feels, Descriptions of Blood, Edited, Gen, Hydra, Implied/Referenced Torture, Oneshot, Steggy - Freeform, The SSR, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, all the feels, frozenbros, jarvis is a doting cinnamon roll, no season two spoilers, peggy and jarvis, post season one, prompt, season one references, steve rogers - Freeform, the struggle between bucky and the winter soldier, will never not be sad about steve and peggy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 20:45:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8175553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ijustneed12percentofamoment/pseuds/Ijustneed12percentofamoment
Summary: Peggy gets alerted of a new Soviet weapon and takes Jarvis to investigate. What they find is so much worse than they thought.Set in the time between season one and two of Agent Carter - no spoilers, but there are some references to both seasons





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after being inspired by the greatness that is Agent Carter (specifically season 1), and then added that to the prompt that I’d gotten during *that scene* in Finding Nemo with the quote (in so many words): “Please don’t go away… I don’t want to forget.” “I’m sorry, but I do.”  
> The resulting brain-child made me sad about Peggy and about Steve, and well, basically everyone, so I decided I’d write about it. Hope you like it!

 

  

_“And the ghosts that we knew will flicker from view_

_And we'll live a long life.”_

_– Mumford & Sons_

 

 

Something had gone very, very wrong. The pair stood frozen in horrified silence as they took in the room around them.

“Good god…” Jarvis breathed.

…

The plan had been to get in and get out as quickly as possible.

There had been sources about a new Soviet weapon in the works, and Stark’s connections had finally led them to a tiny island just off the coast in the Laptev Sea, where a small warehouse stood amongst the trees.

Of course, the SSR had no idea. There was no chance in hell they would have given Peggy clearance for it.

So the plans had been set. Howard was to remain in the small plane, awaiting their signal in case a hasty exit was needed, while Mr Jarvis and herself would go in and gather as much information as possible in order to take bigger steps later. Right now they just needed proof. Maybe then the SSR would be interested.

The two-person team slowly edged their way closer to the bunker style building, where inside they found only a single office room and hidden stairs leading down.

…

Peggy took in the shattered glass, the ghastly tools that lay scattered, machines with little blank, green screens, wires and electrical paddles. But it was the blood that held their attention.

Dried tracks of it were painted along the walls with fingers instead of brushes, leading their gaze to the floor where footsteps were stamped with the stuff – dark, but fresh enough that the pools of it near the office at the far wall were still tacky.

“What in god’s name is this terrible place?” Jarvis muttered. It was clear the moment they stepped into the ghastly surgery room that the weapon or any plans for one weren’t here. This building wasn’t a warehouse in the least – it was something much worse.

“Well, it explains why the place is empty.” Peggy supplied, the smell of chloroform still lingering in the air.

“How so?” Jarvis edged forward into the room, avoiding the blood and instead inspecting the machinery.

“It’s a small island. If they needed extensive medical aid, they’d need to go back to the mainland.”

Jarvis looked up from a machine that had a number of drips attached to it, the needles and tubing having been ripped apart and the liquid inside now dripped along the tiled floor.

“How do you know it was them that needed it?”

Peggy’s voice was flat when she answered, looking down at the footprints left behind in the dark muck.

“Because they wouldn’t have bothered if it was the prisoner.”

A thought occurred to her as Peggy glanced over at the empty chair and torn restraints and she felt her skin prickle.

“Where do you suppose they are?” She asked, and Jarvis frowned as he followed her gaze to the chair, the awkward looking gun in his hands shaking slightly.

“I would rather not think about it.”

Stepping carefully through the mess hastily left on the ground, Peggy peered through the broken glass of the observation office, seeing scattered papers and abandoned cups of coffee on the desk.

She was about to reply, about to look closer at the locked filing cabinet of Soviet documents when she caught sight of something shining at the far corner of the lab.

“Mr Jarvis, over here.” She called, standing in front of a silver vault door, complete with a spinning dial lock handle in the centre.

Without missing a beat, Peggy pulled out a small device and pressed it to the cold surface of the door above the handle. The display showed a solid green line, inferring that the locking mechanism was solid behind the dial spindle. By spinning the handle left and right, a gap in the green line showed when a break was coming up in the internal mechanism.

Peggy was in within ninety seconds.

“I am having serious doubts about this…” Jarvis muttered, but nevertheless helped her haul the heavy vault door open, letting out a rolling cloud of frozen CO2.

“Miss Carter, I highly suggest we abort this plan – there’s clearly no weapon here. We both knew it as soon as we found this hellish lab–”

“Tell me, Mr Jarvis,” Peggy challenged him, “Why would they work in a secret base underneath a small barn, holding a locked vault, if there was nothing inside of it?”

She raised an eyebrow and Jarvis was silent for a moment, frowning.

“But–”

It was too late; Peggy had already entered the freezer room, and while the majority of him was questioning everything about this place, Jarvis felt somewhat at ease next to Peggy’s resilience, and as always, followed her to their potential capture and death.

Inside, the room glowed a pale, icy blue, and the harsh lights from outside were dampened through the vapour swirling around them.

Shivering to the point of their teeth chattering, the pair stepped deeper into the vault before realising they were walking in amongst half a dozen six-foot chambers.

Peggy stopped in front of one and peered through the little clear circular window, the casing empty within.

“Are these what I think they are?” she asked, looking at another and finding it too, was empty.

Jarvis was silent for a moment, the cold not helping his freight as he inspected a chamber on the opposite wall.  
“Cryogenic tanks, yes. Coffins for the living.”

Peggy glanced at him and saw the grim line his mouth had set in before looking into the next tank–

She gasped and flinched back; at first out of freight from seeing a face behind the glass, and then from the terror of realising that she _knew that face_.

Her hands were clamped across her mouth as she stared incredulously at the face of Bucky Barnes frozen within the chamber.

Tears stung at the corners of her eyes, her thoughts immediately running back to Steve. For so long, she had given up the idea of ever seeing anything of Steve’s again, not after Leviathan and the threat of Midnight Oil. She had finally managed to get past the grief of losing him, to work her way past the loss and move on with her life, and now she was thrown right back into feelings she thought she’d poured out along with Steve’s blood.

Peggy felt a tentative hand on her shoulder from Jarvis – he had read the files, seen the vision of the Howling Commandos in action – he knew who Barnes was and his connection to Rogers.

 _It’s not possible_. Peggy thought, unable to look away, like some sort of answer might be found in the chamber. His eyes were closed but his head was tilted back and his lips parted like he was gasping against the ice that kept him preserved.

Peggy couldn’t shake the second-hand devastation that Steve would be feeling if he knew what had happened to his best friend after thinking he had watched him fall to his death.

She thought back to the lab outside and swallowed back the sick feeling that burned inside. Despite his incredible survival, the fact that Bucky was captured in this hellhole reduced it to a horrible bittersweet reality.

 _What is this place?_ Her eyes ran across the bruises and burn marks along Barnes’ skin before quickly looking away.

“You said he’s… _alive_ in there?” she asked Jarvis. Glancing sidelong at Barnes, he tilted his head,

“He’s neither dead nor conscious, therefore he can’t hear us. The cryonic process preserves the body. If it helps Miss Carter, he isn’t in any pain whilst suspended in animation.”

_But when he isn’t…_

Jarvis sounded sincere and kind, but it was what remained unsaid that rang out the loudest.

“We need to get him out of here.” The anger was quickly taking over her sadness and being replaced with fierce determination. Even if Steve couldn’t be here to protect him, she’d be damned if she didn’t try to her best to help Bucky.

Jarvis raised his eyebrows, astonished, “Miss Carter, I–”

“Jarvis, I am not leaving him here – you can’t possibly think we can walk away from this! They’ll kill him or worse in this place.”

“I would gladly help you bring him with us but it’s too dangerous! Do you know how complicated the effects of cryo–”

“Frankly, I don’t give a damn. He’s alive and he needs our help.”

“Not only will they know he’s missing, but they will never stop until they find and kill you for it.” Before she could argue further, he held up a hand,

“Do you really want him turned over and in the hands of the SSR?” Jarvis challenged, knowledge behind his eyes.

Peggy stopped and looked at him. She blinked before turning back to the prone figure of Bucky.

Jarvis was right. What sort of world would she be bringing him back to? A world where Steve was dead, and he’d be branded a traitor for working with Hydra? He’d be sent to the electric chair – or worse, they would claim to help him, only to do no better than the Soviets were already doing to him.

Even if they managed to smuggle him away with Howard – Peggy couldn’t let Bucky suffer the loss of Steve like she had – she didn’t want that sort of pain upon anyone.

Despite all of that, Peggy still hated the idea of having to leave him here in this place – she knew Steve would do his damnedest to try and save him. Plus she didn’t want to walk away from the only reminder of Steve she had. It had felt like a lifetime ago when she had last seen his face, heard his voice say her name. Letting his blood fall into the river was one of the hardest steps she’d taken, accepting the fact that Steve Rogers was no more – that he ultimately belonged to the arctic ice. Glancing back up at the cryo tank in front of her, Bucky preserved within, a whisper of a thought began to form–

An alarm screeched throughout the small bunker, flashing red lights blinking urgently.

 _SECURITY BREECH_ came up in Russian across a previously dark screen on the wall outside in the office, and the sound of an automatic door came from the entrance above ground, securing them inside. The door to the cryo vault must have had a timer, tripping the alarm when left open too long.

“We need to get out of here!” Jarvis called above the alarm.

The sound of static yelling came over their walkie-talkie from Howard, probably telling them the same thing. They may be safe down here in the vault, but Howard was still outside, plus the empty chambers that surrounded them loomed like an ominous warning.

Peggy knew they had to leave, and leave right now if they didn’t wanted to be prisoners for eternity.

Jarvis’ voice was gentle despite the ringing alarm,

“Rescuing Barnes will not bring him back, Peggy.”

A single tear ran down her cheek, and she was struck from the weight of realizing just how much she missed Steve. She nodded before reaching up to touch the small window of the cryo tank with gloved fingers.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered.

 

Closing the vault door behind them left an ugly sense of guilt inside both of them, but the beginnings of a countdown didn’t leave time for remorse.

 _Two minutes_.

A colossal noise thundered from above ground, like a thousand matchsticks being fed into a rotor, and when they ran back up the stairs, the locked security door was the only thing left standing after Howard had driven his plane through the walls.

 _One minute_.

“I can slow this bird down only so much before I can take off!” Howard’s voice came through the radio. The plane was rolling away from them, but if they were fast enough, they could make it to the open door and clear the ground before the timer went off. The pair took off sprinting towards the plane, Jarvis a few meters ahead. Less than ten meters and they were safe–

The explosion and ensuing shock wave caught them off guard, blowing the remains of the cabin and the escapees through the air.

Jarvis was shoved forward and he watched himself topple defenselessly and felt a sharp pain in his shoulder blade before he came crashing to the ground.

The air still shook from the powerful blast, and Jarvis took a moment to gather himself onto his hands and knees, his ears ringing. From his spot near the wheel of the plane, Jarvis looked back to see Peggy prone on the ground a few meters away. Staggering to his feet, and fear making him stumble, he collapsed next to her and rolled her body over.

“Miss Carter!” he yelled, but she didn’t respond. Pulse pounding and the rotor of the plane still thumping, Jarvis gathered her into his arms and lifted her. His shoulder was burning something fierce, but he ran desperately back towards the open door of the plane.

Watching on in concern, Howard waited until Jarvis was safely inside before flooring it. Jarvis had barely closed the door of the plane before it had taken off, clearing the treetops.

“Is she okay?” Howard called back, sparing a glance over his shoulder. Jarvis struggled to respond as his hands danced from her pulse to a wound at the back of her head. When he brought his hand away it was slick with blood and he wrenched at a blanket from the seat in attempts of staunching it.

“I…I don’t know, sir.”

…

The doctors had told Jarvis that Peggy would survive, but they couldn’t say when she’d wake up, or what she would remember. It had already been a week, and everyday he left the hospital fearing the worst.

The next day, when he was filling the time by telling her all about Ana’s ideas on a new garden arrangement, he had gotten quite carried away in revealing his distaste of the current stone statue taking precedence in the middle of the flower garden before he saw Peggy stirring.

“Miss Carter?” Jarvis leant forward eagerly, but she started when she caught sight of him. “It’s alright, it’s me.” Jarvis reassured her, but his smile faltered a little as he hesitated. “Do you know who I am…?”

Peggy blinked and pushed herself up a little against the pillows.

“Jarvis.” Her voice was dry and low but she smiled with recognition and he exhaled with relief.

She caught sight of the sling around his arm and a frown creased her brow as she looked around herself.

“What happened?” she asked, and Jarvis’ smile slipped from his face.

“You hit your head.” He explained slowly. “The doctor said you might struggle to remember certain things.”

Peggy looked lost, and he knew something was missing from her memory. The question was, how much?

“What’s the last thing you remember?” he asked cautiously. Jarvis was anxious, but not only for her wellbeing. He watched her frown and think back to her last memory.

She took a few moments of going back to a solid memory, something she could firmly hold on to, then gradually worked her way forward. It was slippery and intangible, like trying to gather mist into a jar, and eventually she reached a point that she could no longer see – where the mist finally ran out.

“I remember Howard telling us about… about something he’d heard. I think, I feel like I wanted to look into it further?”

Jarvis nodded silently, a saddened look shining in his eyes; remorseful almost, but why he would look at her like that, she did not know.

“Was there a plane…?” She added, feeling like Howard had some further significant role.

This made Jarvis smile, “Yes, Howard got us to safety.”

Peggy nodded, thinking this over, but her memory offered no other fragments or clues as to how she got here. What she did know however, without her memory to guide her, was that something dangerous had happened and she had led them right to it.

“This is my fault.” She said, looking over at Jarvis and his injured shoulder, a well of emotion opening within her, and if she was honest, she didn’t quite expect it.

“Nonsense, Miss Carter.” Jarvis told her, “We were following evidence that Howard found.” He stopped to think about exactly what he was going to tell her next. “By the time we got there however, they’d been alerted and we were stuck in the middle of a firefight. Nothing was your fault.”

Jarvis emphasized that last point, because it was the only part of the story that was true. Ana could attest to the fact that he could be a terrible liar, but by scattering the truth, he felt a little less guilty. Well, that’s what he told himself. Instead he felt the lies and guilt like a stone in his heart.

He was immensely glad Peggy didn’t remember Barnes or any of the other horrors they had found in that place; he didn’t want her carrying around that sort of guilt, not after she had moved on with her life and managed let go of the past. She deserved better than to regret leaving someone behind on her watch forever, especially one so close to her.

The same guilt crept inside of him, but Jarvis shuffled it away to be dealt with later, just like he always did.

He smiled warmly at Peggy and told her to rest just as a nurse came it to tell him visiting hours was over. He said his goodbyes and left for the afternoon, but Jarvis lingered at the door and glanced back at his friend.

The doctors said her memories might return someday, but he hoped for her sake that they never did. There was only so much weight the living could carry.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! :)


End file.
